Take Us to Your Turntable!

band promo photo

Alien warnings from Coco the Electric Monkey Wizard

Digital espionage by Paul "F13" Watkin
Live photography by Paul Clarke

I present the following information as a warning: There is a group of aliens operating on Earth under the disguise of a musical group known cryptically as "Man or Astro-Man?" Birdstuff, Star Crunch (from Grid Sector 23-B6-1), Dexter X-Man (from Planet Q) and Coco the Electronic Monkey Wizard (a cybernetic lifeform created by Birdstuff and Star Crunch) comprise the power space surf band, and the following information has been obtained through scientific evaluations and intercepted satellite transmissions.

Man or Astro-Man? have already sold one billion records in the 21st century, yet have traveled back in time to walk among us in the late 20th century. On July 11, 1996 at the Starfish Room, they hypnotized a small group of people through synchronized stage antics, heavy surf-like guitar, the glow of many television devices and wildly energetic song presentations. At the time, we were under the impression that they were entertaining us; but now we have come to learn that that is not the case.

Coco, live at the Starfish Information released in a de-classified document by the Touch and Go Space Agency has revealed a startling explanation: Man or Astro-Man? have traveled to our time to record an evolutionary bridge between contemporary harmonic patterns and the mind-shattering tones and structures of the their 21st-century "Next Phase" records. Only by exposing the entire population of Earth to intermediary sonic structures can the Astro-Men stop harmonic trauma from killing the entire human race.

Excerpts from various stolen telecommunications between Coco the Electronic Monkey Wizard and an unknown source were intercepted by Drop-D's DD-13 satellite and reveal a deeper truth. Due to interference from the CSIS satellite monitoring Bruce Clarke, the transmissions are slightly hindered by static, but decipherable.

"We were on a joyride... it had gotten late and I fell asleep... we crash landed in the backwoods of Alabama," Coco is heard to say. "We stayed and set up our main research lab there and functioned under the guise of Video Production Students. We stayed there because brainwashing is a big part of what we do and you get away with wild stuff in the backwoods of Alabama, they're easy targets. Our main function is the research, we're scientists... A band is an easy tool. We're able to go into different towns late at night and escape with a ton of gear and equipment without anybody noticing."

cover of 'Experiment Zero' CD Finding no trace of a research lab in the heart of Alabama, DD-13 recently tracked down some unexplainable scientific activity in Georgia. The Electronic Monkey Wizard confirms our findings:

"We're in Atlanta now. We set up our main research lab underneath Atlanta... actually it's underneath underground Atlanta... With the 1996 Olympics here, it was a great opportunity to perform scientific tests on people from around the world."

Coco, live at the Starfish Drop-D has already sent this information to the Olympic organizers in Nagano, Japan, but a more immediate concern is at hand: Man or Astro-Man? have embarked on a North American conquest that will have them introducing the current phase in harmonal transition, entitled Experiment Zero, to the masses. Though this phase is a lighter, more exploratory type of surf/space rock, the resulting live "shows" promise to be another stimulating assault on our Earth senses. Having started in Tempe, Arizona, the aliens are making their way up the coast, and will be invading our own Town Pump on April 11th.

"The only way Earth humans can verify any information about Man or Astro-Man? is to go to our 'shows.' Our takeover of your planet is inevitable, but if you listen to every Man or Astro-Man? phase of music, you won't even notice the change of power, it will be a seamless transition. But if you are against Man or Astro-Man?, you will feel the wrath!"

On April 11th we must face the music in great numbers... together. It is our future.

First published in Drop-D Magazine on April 4, 1997

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