Brent Anderson can often be heard relating stories of what it was like in "his day" when he had to walk to school in seven feet of snow during the Great Depression, "but we were happy then, dagnabit!" (He was also the subject of a recent Hokus Pick hit entitled "Old Brent is Thirty," which he claimed was thoroughly inaccurate, though flattering.) His unique vocal stylings can be attributed to years of neglect and continually being punched in the throat. Often referred to as the "hardest working man in show business," much of the band's vision rests with him, which is unfortunate, as he recently invested all the band's money in a pyramid scam. Charges are still pending.

Greg "Eager Beaver" Gitzel was raised by poodles and despite years of intense therapy has yet truly to recover. His knowledge of the music 'biz' is truly extraordinary but unfortunately he can't even tie his own shoelaces. Currently Greg is taking on the bold step of trying to incorporate all four strings into his bass playing (easier said than done, Mr. Smarty Pants). Recently Greg has angered the other band members to no end as they can no longer refer to him as "the single lonely loser" but instead must call him by his given name. They have opted instead not to call him at all.

Jonathan K. Gonyou is currently looking for a guitar instructor to teach him about those tricky seventh chords and the pentatonic scale (pent-a-whata?!?). Thankfully, he has yet to serve any jail time despite being a Preacher's Kid. Jonathan is most commonly asked two things: "what does the 'K' in your name stand for" and "why are you such an idiot?" Neither question can truly be answered. An avid actor, Jonathan is currently starring in a CBC made-for-TV movie with Al Waxman and Bruno Gerussi.

Krishna Ray was born at a young age and since that day he's never been quite the same. He's often referred to as the "musician" in the group, which is ironic seeing as he's the drummer. He realized his drumming potential as a young scamp beating up kids on the playground. His shots to their abdomen had such a superlative resonance and rhythm there was no mistaking his calling. After his phenomenal success (and some shady record dealings), the rest of the band started calling him "$*&%@~~|{}." "The Artist Formerly Known as Krishna" is now a recluse who lives with his wife and their 27 cats.

Something from the little mind of Jonathan K. Gonyou...

Then again, so are the scriptures. How many times in the Psalms does David pound his fists against the walls and scream to the heavens "God where are you? Do you even care about me?" We were never promised an easy life -- far from it, in fact. Perhaps it's ok, then, to sing with sincerity that yes I do struggle with the Faith sometimes or don't feel like a Christian sometimes or even (yes, I know this is hard to believe) sin sometimes. This too needs to be balanced with the fact that we serve an awesome God, worthy of all praise. There are a great deal of artists who are quite content to sing only of the virtues of being a Christian (these are also the artists who seem to sell truckloads of records). To them and their listeners I say "Amen -- keep it up!" but for others like myself who are touched by something slightly different, the fact that I push God away and don't always seem saved, there is music for use as well.

For those of you who do not understand where Undertakers are coming from or why we sing some of the songs we do, know first of all that we love Jesus Christ with all our hearts, though just like anyone else we're trying to figure out this Christianity thing with "fear and trembling." Mike Knott, a musician who has made no secret of his personal struggles sums it up best: "One thing I've found in my wrong ways, One thing I've learned in my days...Christ saves." Amen.