We Whale

CD Cover The Harpoons
Lifestyle Records

Review by Darren Gawle

42-second excerpt from "More Brains (the Zombie Song)" (various formats)

One look at the CD cover and you're likely never to give the Harpoons the time of day (yes, that is a giant inflatable lady about to be, well, harpooned). Actually, We Whale isn't as bad as it looks -- the music may be typical west coast hardcore, but the lyrics are pretty damn funny. Take "Beef," for instance, which is about, er..., beef. "I don't eat no chicken 'cuz my sphincter would be stickin' / My colon takes a licking, but beef keeps me ticking / Hershey squirt pooh! Hershey squirt pooh!"

Actually, this isn't pretty damn funny anymore, it's potty humour from someone who obviously has yet to progress beyond mental age three. "More Brains (the Zombie Song)" does retain its humour value with its send-up of Night of the Living Dead, but otherwise this is novelty punk and it gets on your tits before the disc is finished. Then again, judging by the statements in "We're the Harpoons," the band doesn't care what I think.

Artist Contact Info: 3 - 712 Robson St., Vancouver, B.C., Canada, V6Z 1A2

First published in Drop-D Magazine on May 26, 1997

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