Eurotic 3 (with a twist)

Review by Dorothy Parvaz

Here's Eurotic 3. If you're kidnapped, force-fed large quantities of cheap tequila and placed in a nightclub filled with people with big hair, you might not notice how much this disc sucks. But if you're in your living room, stone-cold sober, you'll notice.

Oh, there are a couple of decent tracks. There's a King Cobb Steelie tune, "Irrational," which sounded a heck of a lot better before the Incarnate Perspective remixed it. David Bowie lends his touch of cool to this CD with "Dead Man Walking," remixed by straight-edge vegan techno wizard Moby. It's actually quite good, if you're into the whole electronic music thing. The PF Project adds some generic loops to Ewan Mcgregor's "Choose Life" rant from Trainspotting, and this track is pretty danceable, if you don't stop to listen to the lyrics, which basically present a damn good argument for driving a hit of smack into your veins.

Of course, if you listen to the last six tracks on the CD [ed. who the heck are Sailor Moon? Vienna? Los Umbrellos?], a sweaty OD episode in a hospital emergency room won't seem so bad. Let's see, what else do we have? There's a remix of the Spice Girls' "Say You'll Be There" (if there is a cosmic plan of any sort, these girls will go mute sometime soon), a lumpy version of Luscious Jackson's "Naked Eye," some unforgivably bad Latin rumba crap and, of course, the '80s band that won't die, Duran Duran, with "Electric Barbarella" (good thing the video stirred up some controversy with some womyn's groups, because the song itself is sooooo forgettable).

Essentially, there's no reason to buy this disc. If you like techno, you can do a whole lot better. If you like crappy club remixes of pop songs, you could do worse -- which actually means better -- as there are entire box-sets devoted to lame club mixes. Why monkey around with the diluted stuff?